CONTINUUM OF LONGING

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Thoughts were obliterated as they moved closer, James dipping his head, his eyes closing, his lips parting. Barely allowing himself to believe this was happening, Tom felt James' soft lips touch his own. He wanted to keep his eyes open, to stay on guard for both of them, but despite himself his lids fluttered shut, his heart beating against James' as they kissed.

It wasn't a long kiss-just a few seconds before James pulled away, and Tom of course let him. They stood staring at one another for a few moments. Tom felt his cock unfolding in his underwear, uncomfortably bent as his balls tightened with desire. Could this be real? He waited for James to come to his senses-to cry out in horror, to scream for Tom to get the fuck out of his house.

James didn't do any of those things. Instead he held out his hand, his eyes eloquent with longing mingled with shyness. This must be a dream, Tom thought as he slipped his hand into James'. Another of my endless series of daydreams about James. In a moment he'll say, "Snap out of it, Goodwin," and I'll blush and stammer as I've done so many times before and that will be that.

But that didn't happen. Silently James, still holding Tom's hand, led him out of the living room into the hall beyond and through the door of the master bedroom. The style of the room was Japanese, with a king-sized mattress set low on a black lacquered frame, the matching headboard delicately inlaid with a gold motif of cranes flying over fields of grain.

Tom barely noticed these details, his subconscious mind storing them for later. He was focused solely on James, who dropped his hand and stood now uncertain, staring at the younger man. Tom couldn't help but smile at James' obvious desire juxtaposed with his equally obvious nervousness and uncertainty. How strange it felt to be the one in control! After all this time of secretly pining for this unattainable man-so he had thought!-he was standing in the man's bedroom, aware of his mute plea for Tom to take charge.

"James. Are you sure?"

James just nodded, his fingers reaching for the hem of his T-shirt, which he now pulled over his head. Tom couldn't help the sudden intake of breath as he stared at James' strong, smooth, tanned chest. James obviously worked out, and it showed. His pecs were well defined, his muscles lying beautifully over a perfect bone structure of broad shoulders and tapering torso. His stomach was strong and lean, a line of dark blond hair ran from his belly button into his jeans.

Tom's eyes followed the line, resting on the telltale bulge in his friend's pants. He felt his own cock respond, now completely erect in his briefs and suit pants. Following James' example, he began to unbutton his shirt, pulling it loose from his trousers. His fingers moved over his cufflinks, his eyes now locked on James' face. He slipped the cufflinks into his pants pocket and slipped his own shirt from his shoulders.

In a curiously sweet almost submissive gesture, James held out his hands for the shirt and Tom obliged, allowing him to take it and hang it on a hanger in his closet. James returned to where Tom stood, moving very close. Tom saw he was trembling and his heart melted. Instinctively he wrapped his arms around James, whispering, "It's okay. I promise. Whatever happens, happens at your pace. You decide what we do, if anything."

James nodded, bringing his arms around Tom in kind. Tom could feel James' heart beating a rapid tattoo against his chest as they embraced. Their bodies moved closer, touching skin to skin, James' smooth chest against Tom's hairy one. Tom also worked out and while he wasn't as large a person as James, he was probably actually stronger, his compact muscles dense as steel.

In a silent dance they moved their way over toward the bed, their arms still around one another. Slowly they fell, landing on their sides facing one another. James closed his eyes, his lips parting in a clear invitation for a kiss. Tom obliged, again tasting the sweetness of his dream lover, letting his tongue slip into James' mouth. James was breathing hard, his nostrils flaring as he allowed Tom to explore his mouth. He tasted of whiskey and peppermint.

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